Positive Mind
THOUGHT HABITS
“A great many people think they are thinking
when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
William James.
"You must be the change you want to see in the world."
Gandhi
I was driving down the motorway yesterday afternoon; Jeremy Vine was chatting on the radio, speaking his eloquent speak to some beleaguered government minister. As this guy preached some incomprehensible language; I realised I’d taken an exit that normally takes me home. Of course that’s not a problem really, except that I wasn’t on my way home; I was on my way somewhere else.
If you’re like me, and possibly everyone else on this planet, you tend to do a number of things everyday just out of habit. Of course, I’d taken my normal route off the motorway because my subconscious mind had picked up on this habit, and when I saw the slip road I automatically took it.
We all have habits programmed into our subconscious minds, some result in simple problems, like me having to get back onto the motorway; whilst others can have more profound consequence on our lives, perhaps leading us ultimately to successes or to failures; being thin or overweight, in-love or alone.
There are bound to be any number of negative habits in all of us, it’s all part of the richness of being human. We spoke last month about ‘following our passions’, about believing we have a true calling to something and submitting ourselves to enjoying our lives to the full. But sometimes we have negative habits that work against us, making us unhappy, stopping us achieving our passions, our goals. Because we’re working with a habit, we quite possibly don’t even know we’re hindering a happier future.
Successful and happy people have positive habits that work for them and allow them to enjoy their lives. However can I just get something straight. When I talk of successful people, I don’t necessarily mean those who have mountains of cash, a successful business and drive the latest 4x4. Successful means getting from life those things you desire. Of course money creates less of a burden to modern day living, but gathering a good measure of possessions can create a different level of worries and anxieties; and these can often make you want to return to a simpler lifestyle.
The good news is – you can change your habits, and you can also get rid of them if you want - all of those that don’t work for you, while at the same time creating habits that do; habits that will drive you to happiness and success.
Like my motorway deviation yesterday, your subconscious also picks up on what you do and think regularly, and then you automatically follow what has become a habit. You may brush your teeth a certain way because your subconscious has picked up the regular way you brush, and there are countless other daily chores I’m sure you could identify with.
You may take your coffee break at the same time, then make and drink it in a particular way because it’s a habit formed over time. You will also have many habits in the way you think, many you’re hardly aware of, and it’s these ‘thought habits’ that create beliefs, some of them working for or against you. Lets look at one we may all identify with; the negative habit of thinking the worst will happen. I bet you’ve created that, we all have. You may think of reasons why you can’t do something, or why success is too difficult. I’m sure we could all create quite a list – but lets not!
The problem with these ‘negative thought’ habits is we eventually create those beliefs into physical reality, but like I said, any negative ‘thought habit’ can be changed or eliminated altogether.
Like most tasks, it’s best to take things one at a time, I seem to remember saying way back in the first of these articles that whilst we’ve become accustomed to quick fixes, changes to our mind are better served over a lengthier period of time, allowing them to adjust and stay in alignment too.
So in order to create positive ‘thought habits’ rather than those horrible old negative ones, you first need to get a grip on those thoughts that lead to the actions that create the habits. We then need to see if those habits work for or against you.
Let’s take another example - relationships! Now if you’re single and looking for your perfect partner, your soul mate; but end up each time with someone who hurts you or treats you in ways you dislike, you may be thinking – you know, there’s no-one out there for me, or finding the right person’s far too difficult; then these are habits of thinking you need to address. Firstly, why would you bother looking for your perfect partner if you didn’t really believe he or she was out there somewhere. Question – would you go to the shed, pull out a shovel and start digging up the entire back garden if you didn’t believe there was a £1.000.000 buried there somewhere, of course you wouldn’t; if there is - give me a call and III help you out!
But so many of us continue the search for our soul mate even though we don’t think we’ll ever find them. In the end, so many of us end up in a relationships that only partially fulfil our original desires. Remember your subconscious mind makes you take action based on your habitual thinking, those habits being the actions and thoughts you regularly have.
So, by regularly thinking that perfect person for you is never to be found, of course you never will find them.
I’m not a great one for writing an extensive list of negatives, it can be just too daunting in the beginning, I would much prefer to work on one ‘thought habit’ at a time. So take a look; look closely at these negative ‘thought habits’ and begin turning them off, or into positive ‘thought habits’; even the simple task of identifying these will be an enlightening experience, and create a boost in the right direction.
As well as ‘thought habits’, we can also suffer ‘physical habits’ too. ‘Physical habits’ can work the same way, either for of against us. Let me share one of my own little forboils – one of my little habits. I’ve just been to the kitchen, and right beside me now is a nice steaming mug of tea. But while I waited for the kettle to boil, I opened the fridge hoping to spot a packet with the word chocolate written on it. Now I know there isn’t anything with chocolate written on it - even in a shorted French abbreviated form; because if there was – I would eat it! And I don’t buy it for that reason. But it doesn’t stop that rather disappointing moment when I habitually open the fridge hoping to catch a glimpse of one.
Now, I’m not a fat boy, but I could easily be, because I do like my food. But if you want to lose weight, and have a habit of eating chocolate or other foods that are not particularly good for you, then you need to change your eating habits. The good news is again by sending new messages to your subconscious mind you can begin to change your physical habits too.
If you wanted to lose weight – you would focus on being thin and eating well. As you think constantly about being a better shape and putting only those things in your mouth you knew were good for you, your subconscious mind will pick up on these thoughts and eventually replace or eliminate the desire to eat junk.
Like I said, I’m a big fan of chocolate, and even writing that word has made my mouth go all moist, I’d eat it for breakfast if I could, but when I think about it I switch my focus and that has eventually lead me to a new habit of only buying it when I really want it, and most of the time I’m much happier when I’ve eaten some fruit instead.
Again we need to become aware of those ‘physical habits’ that work against us, focusing instead on those things we really want, like a healthier, slimmer, fitter body. Begin the process of training your mind to think of what it does want rather than what it doesn’t. If you feel yourself slipping into your old ‘physical habits’ – focus on what outcome you really want for yourself. Think about joining a gym, or taking some exercise at home if you prefer; focus on the shape your body will become, how proud you will be of it and yourself too. Your subconscious will pick up on these thoughts and help you along the way.
Start with small steps, getting yourself into shape, work on it everyday, and after a while you’ll find it’s easier to exercise and say no to those things that are bad for you, and it’s because your subconscious mind is working for you.
Again, you won’t see results overnight, it could be a number of weeks before you suddenly realise an old habit has changed, or gone altogether, but it is a lot simpler than you think, and the very best part is you’re in complete control and in charge of your own destiny.